And I Darken by Kiersten White
Rating:★★★★★
Love comes in many different forms.
Love is a recurring theme in this book, specifically unrequited love, though not always in the way you'd expect. This cast of characters is trying to figure out their relationships with each other, but here the stakes are incredibly high.
This tale centers on two of the children of Vlad Dracula/Vlad the Impaler: his daughter Ladislav and his son Radu.
Ladislav or Lada, is ferocious. She defines ambition and military strategy. She is ugly, independent, protective, and merciless. She values power and those she loves above all. It is so rare to get a truly brutal female character. And incredibly intelligent brutality at that.
She is ruthless and violent, attacking life with kicks, screams and bites. I loved her.
Radu is in most aspects, her opposite
Lada's version of love is very ownership oriented - in her mind, love is weakness; being forced into protecting or needing protection. Yet Lada loves Radu. He is hers.
She isn't compassionate or hugging. She breaks his heart because she knows he'll be stronger for it in the end. She ruthlessly beats those who attack him, and when he runs to her in gratitude, she tries to quench that thankfulness by pointing out ulterior motives she might have had in defending him. She reminds him that he should have taken care of himself so that, one day, he might be able to.
She is a fierce warrior who is held captive by her gender. Her only female influence is her mother (weak, constantly abed, neglectful, bending to her husband's whims, and powerless), and so she vows to herself she'll never be held at someone's mercy. She will never be married. She will never need to depend on someone else for her very life. She is as untamable as a hurricane and perhaps more ferocious. In fact, her nurse, while holding her as a baby, makes this wish in her heart:
And so our heroine is short-tempered, aggressive, and incredibly intelligent.
Radu doesn't really understand this brand of love; he doesn't see her putting his interests first in her peculiar moments of compassion. Radu is all soft where Lada is thorny. He has a large heart that seeks a funnel, that longs to pour into or have himself poured into. He has the love of masses, but he is never #1 in the hearts of those dearest to him.
His father loved Lada and not him, because she is fearsome where he is frightened. His nurse (the woman who raised him tenderly) loves her biological son more than him, because, surrogate mother or no, Radu could never take the place of her blood-son. Lada loves him and protects him, but her brand of love is merciless. Eventually Radu falls in love, but that person is in-love with someone else...
His childhood is full of bullying, Lada's tough love, and his father's and older brother's hatred, so he has no love for his homeland. It is the opposite for Lada:
When he and Lada are taken by the Ottoman empire, he finds a home among his captors because his own country was so cruel to him, while Lada finds a boundless hatred to tap into, wishing only for her country.
Radu has a heart that's waiting to pour out, if only his loved ones would choose him.
These two siblings, these who love each other deeply even if they're not aware of the other's devotion, both find a friendship that deepens into more with Mehmed, a prince of the Ottoman Empire, in their captivity. Lada becomes embittered towards the Ottomans, yet her heart is finding a home with Mehmed:
This terrifies her. Love is weakness. Love is leverage someone else can have over you.
Radu finds in Mehmed a friend. Finally. Someone who chooses him. A kind face instead of a fierce one. Radu has never been accepted by his peers before, and now he has something precious. He's willing to do anything to keep that friendship. Anything.
And so countless decisions push and strain the relationships between the three of them. The characters themselves are unsure until the moments are thrust upon them, who of the other two they would choose first if push came to shove. The siblings face a dilemma with no clear answer. At the end of one rope is love, blood, family, a shared childhood, and sacrifice; at the other, there's love, romance, the possibility of total acceptance, being with the person you value above all others.
Lada cannot be tamed, cannot be owned. Mehmed respects her as an equal, but she knows if she chooses him, she will be indebted to him for all of her power. Dependent. Trapped.
The choice is impossible.
And okay, lets be honest, I didn't really like Mehmed at all. I read it for Radu and Lada. Mehmed seemed to know their feelings and play them to his advantage as best he could. Bleh. He did love them both, but he also seemed to manipulate... I kinda wanted someone to kill him.
And I loved it. I loved it because I fell in love with Lada and Radu, despite their many downfalls. This book rocked. Highly recommend.
Love comes in many different forms.
Love is a recurring theme in this book, specifically unrequited love, though not always in the way you'd expect. This cast of characters is trying to figure out their relationships with each other, but here the stakes are incredibly high.
This tale centers on two of the children of Vlad Dracula/Vlad the Impaler: his daughter Ladislav and his son Radu.
Ladislav or Lada, is ferocious. She defines ambition and military strategy. She is ugly, independent, protective, and merciless. She values power and those she loves above all. It is so rare to get a truly brutal female character. And incredibly intelligent brutality at that.
She was contrary and vicious and the meanest child the nurse had ever cared for. She was also the nurse’s favorite. By all rights the girl should be silent and proper, fearful and simpering. ...But in Lada she saw a spark, a passionate, fierce glimmer that refused to hide or be dimmed.
She is ruthless and violent, attacking life with kicks, screams and bites. I loved her.
Radu is in most aspects, her opposite
If Lada was the spiky green weed that sprouted in the midst of a drought-cracked riverbed, Radu was the delicate, sweet rose that wilted in anything less than the perfect conditions.He is kind where she is cruel; he is beautiful where she is ugly; weak where she is strong. As he struggles to step out of his sister's shadow, he comes to embody the cunning of courtroom politics, while she is all battlefield and combat. He is intelligent and open, until the world he lives in forces him to become crafty and false. He comes to feel lost in a sea of political tactics. My heart broke for him.
Lada's version of love is very ownership oriented - in her mind, love is weakness; being forced into protecting or needing protection. Yet Lada loves Radu. He is hers.
The baby started to cry, a weak, garbled sound that worried the nurse. Lada’s scowl deepened. She slapped a dimpled hand over his mouth. The nurse pulled him away quickly, and Lada looked up, face contorted in rage. “Mine!” she shouted. It was her first word. The nurse laughed, shocked, and lowered the baby once more. Lada glared at him until he stopped crying. Then, apparently satisfied, she toddled out of the room.
She isn't compassionate or hugging. She breaks his heart because she knows he'll be stronger for it in the end. She ruthlessly beats those who attack him, and when he runs to her in gratitude, she tries to quench that thankfulness by pointing out ulterior motives she might have had in defending him. She reminds him that he should have taken care of himself so that, one day, he might be able to.
She is a fierce warrior who is held captive by her gender. Her only female influence is her mother (weak, constantly abed, neglectful, bending to her husband's whims, and powerless), and so she vows to herself she'll never be held at someone's mercy. She will never be married. She will never need to depend on someone else for her very life. She is as untamable as a hurricane and perhaps more ferocious. In fact, her nurse, while holding her as a baby, makes this wish in her heart:
Let her be strong. Let her be sly. She looked over at the princess, fifteen, lovely and delicate as the first spring blossoms. Wilted and broken on the bed. And let her be ugly.
And so our heroine is short-tempered, aggressive, and incredibly intelligent.
Radu doesn't really understand this brand of love; he doesn't see her putting his interests first in her peculiar moments of compassion. Radu is all soft where Lada is thorny. He has a large heart that seeks a funnel, that longs to pour into or have himself poured into. He has the love of masses, but he is never #1 in the hearts of those dearest to him.
His father loved Lada and not him, because she is fearsome where he is frightened. His nurse (the woman who raised him tenderly) loves her biological son more than him, because, surrogate mother or no, Radu could never take the place of her blood-son. Lada loves him and protects him, but her brand of love is merciless. Eventually Radu falls in love, but that person is in-love with someone else...
His childhood is full of bullying, Lada's tough love, and his father's and older brother's hatred, so he has no love for his homeland. It is the opposite for Lada:
“I am your father. But that woman is not your mother. Your mother is Wallachia. Your mother is the very earth we go to now, the land I am prince of. Do you understand?”
Lada looked up into her father’s eyes, deep-set and etched with years of cunning and cruelty. She nodded, then held out her hand. “The daughter of Wallachia wants her knife back.”
Vlad smiled and gave it to her.
When he and Lada are taken by the Ottoman empire, he finds a home among his captors because his own country was so cruel to him, while Lada finds a boundless hatred to tap into, wishing only for her country.
Radu has a heart that's waiting to pour out, if only his loved ones would choose him.
These two siblings, these who love each other deeply even if they're not aware of the other's devotion, both find a friendship that deepens into more with Mehmed, a prince of the Ottoman Empire, in their captivity. Lada becomes embittered towards the Ottomans, yet her heart is finding a home with Mehmed:
She loved who she was when he looked at her.
This terrifies her. Love is weakness. Love is leverage someone else can have over you.
Radu finds in Mehmed a friend. Finally. Someone who chooses him. A kind face instead of a fierce one. Radu has never been accepted by his peers before, and now he has something precious. He's willing to do anything to keep that friendship. Anything.
And so countless decisions push and strain the relationships between the three of them. The characters themselves are unsure until the moments are thrust upon them, who of the other two they would choose first if push came to shove. The siblings face a dilemma with no clear answer. At the end of one rope is love, blood, family, a shared childhood, and sacrifice; at the other, there's love, romance, the possibility of total acceptance, being with the person you value above all others.
Lada cannot be tamed, cannot be owned. Mehmed respects her as an equal, but she knows if she chooses him, she will be indebted to him for all of her power. Dependent. Trapped.
The choice is impossible.
And okay, lets be honest, I didn't really like Mehmed at all. I read it for Radu and Lada. Mehmed seemed to know their feelings and play them to his advantage as best he could. Bleh. He did love them both, but he also seemed to manipulate... I kinda wanted someone to kill him.
And I loved it. I loved it because I fell in love with Lada and Radu, despite their many downfalls. This book rocked. Highly recommend.
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